Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
