tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
