his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
