I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
