who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
