Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
