Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
