I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
