He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need moral support for this bender
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
