I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
