Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
