New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
