I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Drunk is not a location!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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