i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
barbara walters just said penis...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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