He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
