This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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