You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
even my farts smell like vagina
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
