Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
