I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
