it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
