I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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