I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
