Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
