she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
