Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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