I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
