Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
