so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
