After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
