I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
