lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
