does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
