So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
