TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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