SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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