based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
