the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
