he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
