he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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