You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
