you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
