im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
