ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my poor anus
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