I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
