I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
