Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
