Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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