I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
