so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
