what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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